i wasnt always as consumed for my love of the doctor as i am these days. i was once a "normie"... regular like you. in fact, i was once the sort of gal who declined to participate, when my dorian and zoe watched together each week. dorian assured me i would love it and often encouraged me to join them. long story short, my screen name is now "gallifreygirl37"
the first episode i watched fully and with attention was "blink"
and even though the doctor, the 10th doctor.... david tennant, was barely in the episode at all, i was instantly enthralled.
i am, in my heart, a partial purist, and so i knew i needed to move forward but had to start at the beginning, the new beginning, the christpher eccleston beginning at least. if i was going to love the doctor, i would at least have to mostly know what i was in love with.
i found him a true delight. fantastic, if you will. i am a HUGE fan of Shallow Grave, and so i was so excited to watch christopher as the doctor spin around the sights with rose. by the time "bad wolf" came around i was fully addicted and convinced that the doctor was in love with rose. "the empty child" and "the doctor dances" are among the most prescious things to me, created by pop culture, ever.
here's how you get me, a love story and a salute to mommies and babies. hooked. just hooked. and captain jack harkness.... yes please.
in fact. i SAW john barrowman at Phoenix Comic Con this past turn. i wish i had time to wait in line to talk to him, hug someone who hugged the docotor. but i was prevented, still... just to see him across from a sea of nerd humanity made me hop and giggle.
even though i knew that the going of christpher heralded the coming of david, i was so sad to see him go that i ugly cried... "have a fantastic life..." yes rose, do.
i fell head over heels for david's doctor. and when i got back to blink, it was a whole new experience. i love, love, love every. single. episode. of david tennent's doctor. i absolutely adore rose. i was cool with martha. "human nature" and "family of blood" are two favorites. as is my tradition, i ugly cried. and still do. every time.
in fact, i was once tempted to buy a replica of the doctors journal of impossible things. i saved $30 but i still wish id made a more frivolous choice.
i even loved donna. it wasnt the same magic as rose, but i was still totally enthralled and on board.
in the end, i think 10 is the doctor who is most like me. he is the ME doctor. a bit angry. a bit addicted. a bit mad. a grudge holder with a compulsion to do right. someone who loves deeply and truly and forever. someone who cant say goodbye and doesn't want to go.
when the master came.... oh man. when timothy dalton was revealed... nerd heaven! and when i had to say goodbye to david.... i was so pleased by the care and respect given to his doctors regeneration. it hurt. oh man, it hurt. but i was oddly satisfied. had i not been, it may have been much harder to accept matt smith's doctor.
but it wasnt.
matt smith fit so neatly into my heart its like i was saving a spot for him all along. whilst i was licking my wounds and preparing to punish 11 for the loss i felt for 10, amy pond won my heart top to bottom. and she never let me down and she never let me go.
i am whole-hog in love with 11. my matt smith doctor. i wait up for him on saturday nights. his whimsy captures me. he is the doctor i wish i COULD be. he is the doctor my heart craves. fun. awkward. confused, but bad ass.
in the 11th hour when he presents himself as the doctor i was like, "im in"
and his journey with amy and rory always always always made me happy as a nerdy clam.
heres how you win me.... show me a happy married couple who adventure through life together, or not at all. the girl who waited... the first centurion... melt me. just melt me.
river song? hello sweetie!
pandorica opens.... oh. my. god.
and when i had to say goodbye to amy and rory.... i couldn't.
i really couldn't.
i think i have watched 'angels take manhattan' a dozen times. and i still wont let go of the ponds. the williams. they are mine. together, or not at all.
ok, souflee girl. show me what youve got.
all of this season has been a complete treat for me. matt vs matt in the silver menace? ok. i need more of that.
and now theyre telling me i have to say goodbye to matt too? i honestly, honestly, don't think i can.
matt was already the doctor by the time i caught up to him. i have never had to experience a new doctor in real time. and i really, truly, do NOT want to let go of my 11. he is the dorian doctor, to me. hes the one i fall in love with and run away with in a mad mans box.
9 was a new world.
10 was my world.
11 was the world i want to live in...
what will 12 be?
who will 12 be?
will i love him enough? here is what i told zoe when we were about to welcome a new life into our family "we dont know what he will be like. but i know that i love you more than anything and that my whole heart is devoted to you. that will never ever change. the only possibility is that, when our rocket comes, that our hearts will get bigger- to make room."
and thats what happened then.
and i hope that is what will happen now.
i have two more episodes to love my dorian-doctor. and then... after that... i just hope the doctor is ginger.
